Monday, March 4, 2013

I Know Who Gave Me HIV! The Isaac Burks Story ( Isaac Don Burks )

Isaac Burks aka Isaac Don Burks Pictured Above

I met Stephawn, (Real Name: Isaac Burks - Isaac Don Burks), when I was 19 years old. I had just moved to Atlanta from North Carolina to attend Clark Atlanta University. At age 19, I was still trying to figure out my sexual orientation. I was still a virgin, because I was raised with traditional values, and I was still trying to figure out my sexual identity. I was attracted to females, but I was also attracted to men. In fact, my attraction to men was stronger. I desperately tried to fight my attraction to the same sex, because I knew if I gave in that would mean a lifetime as an outcast in my family.

You see, my father was a pastor and my mother was a physician. I came from a very stable background, and my parents were heavily into the church. They controlled everything in my life. They financed my education, sent me money every month, and paid virtually every bill that I had. They wanted to see me succeed in life, and I didn't want to disappoint them.

When I moved to Atlanta I met other gay men who were more comfortable with their sexual orientation. I pulled strength from these men, and bonded with them almost immediately. They taught me that it was ok to be gay, and that life was too short to live my life for others. Over the next few months my circle started to consist of nothing but gay men. I felt comfortable. I felt that I could express myself without judgement, and.... for the first time ever I felt accepted. As time passed by, I started coming out of the closet a little more each day. At first, I would never attend a gay club because of fear of being outed. My friends eventually talked me into attending a gay club for the first time. I was nervous! You see, I had a sister who attended Spelman College and four other male cousins who attended Clark. The last thing I needed was my family to find out my sexual orientation. That would mean the possibility of my parents cutting me completely off, and they were the ones paying for my tuition, books, and college expenses.

I eventually put my fears aside after a night of drinking with my friends. We loaded up into my friends Ford Explorer and headed over to a club called Traxx. Apparently, this was the gay club that everyone in Atlanta attended on Saturday. I remember walking into a place that resembled a poorly decorated high school gym. It was huge! Hip-Hop music blasted thru the speakers and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves without a care in the world. There had to be over 1,000 people in the place, and they were dancing the night away.

Because we were underage, we couldn't drink. Apparently, everyone over 21 received a special wrist band to indicate their age, and no one in my party had one. After awhile of standing around we were starting to become over it. Clubs aren't as fun when you are sober, and the liquor we had drank earlier in our dorms was starting to wear off. While standing on the side I noticed a guy staring at me and smiling. He was about 6'2, 180 pounds, athletic build, short hair, brown complexion, and was very attractive.  Every time I would catch him looking in my direction I would look the other way. This entire gay lifestyle was still new to me, so I didn't know what to take his stares for. Eventually he worked up the nerve to come over to me and strike up a conversation. He told me that I looked familiar, and asked me where I was from. I told him that I was from Charlotte North Carolina, and that I couldn't possibly look familiar. I had never been to a gay club before, and every one of my friends were college freshmen from different cities around the country. He asked me why I wasn't drinking, and I told him we couldn't buy drinks because we were all under 21. He offered to buy us a round of drinks at his expense. I jumped at the offer, because we wanted to enjoy ourselves that night. After all, no one comes to a club to have a bad time.

He returned minutes later with three drinks. The drinks he ordered for us were Long Island Iced Teas. I remember taking a sip and almost spitting the drink out. It was very strong. Rather than be rude and waste his money, I drank it slowly. Stephawn then asked why I was babysitting my drink. I asked what he meant by that, because I had never heard the phrase used before. He told me to hurry up and finish my drink, because he was going to order us another round. By the time the second round came, I was feeling nice. My friends who were initially being wallflowers started to dance. We continued to talk, and he kept buying me drinks.

After the third round I was almost drunk, and so were my friends. Every time he ordered me a drink, he also ordered my friends drinks too. After awhile my friends wanted to leave, and I told him that I would catch up with him later. He asked me to stay a little longer, and promised to take me home. I ditched my friends, and for the rest of the night it was just me and him.

We ended up leaving the club an hour later. While taking me home he told me he needed to stop by his house real quick to grab some gas money since his car was on E. He made a joke about spending more money on drinks than he had plan to that night. So he needed to grab some more cash. We pulled into an apartment complex in the Lindbergh area of buckhead. He told me to come up to his Apartment with him so I did.

As soon as the door to his apartment closed he started passionately kissing me. We eventually ended up in his bedroom where we kissed for hours it seemed. He started unbuckling my my pants, and I stopped him. I confessed that I was still a virgin and didn't have a clue what I was doing.

He told me to relax, and that everything was cool. He said that everyone started off as a virgin at some point in there life, and that he could teach me how to have sex. He made me turn over on my stomach and took my shoes off. Then he took my pants off. I was tense and nervous. I didn't know what to expect, but he was so attractive I wanted every ounce of this man. The first thing he did was start eating my ass and I moaned passionately as he gently ate my ass for hours it seemed. Next he started sucking my d***k from the back while I was laying on my stomach. It felt amazing. I wanted to please him too, but he told me to chill and go with the flow. Then he started grinding on my ass and rubbing his d***k on my ass crack. He grabbed some lotion that was strategically placed on his nightstand. He rubbed the lotion in my ass crack, and then put some on his index finger. He slowly put his finger inside of my ass. I moaned in ecstasy, because he was stroking my d***k while he was massaging my prostate with his finger. After awhile of fingering me, he tried to put his d***k in my ass without a condom. I stopped him immediately! I asked if he had a condom, and he said yea why? I said because I didn't come to Atlanta to catch anything and safe sex was mandatory with me. He ran some line about being recently tested the week before, and I said that's cool but we just met. If we were going to have a casual encounter it needed to be a safe casual encounter. He jumped up and grabbed a magnum out of his dresser. I watched him put the condom on, and then I buried my face into the pillow. It was painful at first. I didn't understand how men could possibly enjoy what felt like having your insides ripped out. I had to stop him several times, because I could not take the pain. After about 20 minutes he was starting to get impatient. I couldn't take the d***k, and he seemed to be over waiting for me to get used to the pain. I didn't want to disappoint him, and I didn't want my first sexual encounter to be horrible with my partner not being satisfied. Plus I wanted to see him again. I decided to "man up" and squirted some more lube on my ass. I laid on my stomach, and put my face back into the pillow. He slowly inserted his d***k inside of my ass, and this time it didn't hurt as much. He started to increase his stroke, and I had no problem taking it. It wasn't entirely pain free, but it wasn't unbearable either. He was grabbing my waist, and I attempted to throw my ass back like I had seen in the porno movies. Whatever I was doing, he was enjoying it because he was moaning in ecstasy. After 10 minutes of f***king me doggy style he screamed he was going to cum. As he came I felt a warm liquid rush inside of my ass. I jumped up and looked back and saw his d***k without a condom on it! I screamed what happened to the condom? He grabbed around the bed and showed me the condom. There was no cum in it, and it was by the foot of the bed. I ran to the bathroom, because it felt like I had to s***t. When I used the bathroom, his cum rushed out of my ass. It was allot. I kept thinking to myself that this motherf***ker took the condom off while f***king me. That was the only explanation for cum being in my ass, because I watched him put the condom on.

I came out of the bathroom with an angry look on my face. I screamed "I just used the bathroom and your cum came out of my ass!" I asked him point blank... Did you take the f***king condom off? He had this stupid bewildered look on his face and said no. He said that it must have broke. I didn't believe him for a second, and I searched around for the condom. I found the used condom on the bed, and started examining it. The condom wasn't broke at all! I rolled it out, and there was nothing wrong with it. I screamed what the f***k did you do, because this condom isn't broken. He told me that I was tripping, and I ran to the bathroom with the condom and put it up to the faucet. I filled the condom with water and it didn't leak at all! When I did that, he told me to get the f***k out of his house. I told him that I wasn't going anywhere until he told me the truth! He pushed me with all of his force and I flew into a wall. He told me that if I didn't get the fuck out of his house he was going to beat the shit out of me. I felt betrayed, I was scared for my life, and I was hurt. I had heard about Atlanta being one of the cities with the highest AIDS rates in the country, and I was determined not to be a statistic.

I quickly got my things, and got out of his house. This asshole didn't even offer to take me home, and it was 6am in the morning. As I waited outside of his apartment in the cold, I called a cab service. They arrived about 20 minutes later and took me home. The entire time he was texting my phone and calling me non stop. I didn't answer his calls, because I didn't want to talk to him. I was convinced that he had purposely took the condom off while f***king me. There was no other explanation for his cum being inside of me. I know some guys get off by that, but I was disgusted by it.

The thought of his cum inside me made my stomach turn. As the liquor wore off, I went into a deep depression. The situation kept replaying in my mind over and over again. Was this my fault? How did I not know the condom was off? Why would he take the condom off? Were some of questions that filled my head. When I got back to my dorm, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Tears started rolling down my face as the situation replayed in my head. I wad mad, hurt, and disgusted at the same time. I said a long prayer. Afterwards, I popped two tylenol pm's and fell alseep.

I didn't tell anyone about my experience. How could I explain that I had sex and my partner purposely took the condom off and came inside of me unprotected? I had just met this man. I didn't even know his real name. When my friends asked me what happened, I said nothing and gave them a look that said "don't ask me anymore questions!". They didn't ask, and I didn't tell. That experience frightened me so bad that I decided to put my sexual desires on hold and focus on my education. That meant pulling back from my "gay friends" too, because I was starting to get a little too reckless and free with my sexuality. I started hanging more with my straight friends. After all, I had to keep my charade up. I had family that attended my school, so I couldn't be seen with a bunch of gay men 24/7.

8 months later while home for Christmas break I had to see my doctor for my yearly checkup. This was something my mother made me do every year since I can remember. My doctor asked me was I sexually active, and I said no. I told him that I had sex once, but that was it. I wasn't sexually active, because I wasn't actively having sex. He told me that he was going to include an HIV test in my regular blood work anyway. A few days later I received a call from his office. It wasn't the doctor, it was one of the office workers. She was obviously new, because I didn't recognize her voice. She told me that I needed to come in, because there was something that the doctor needed to discuss with me. I was confused. I asked her what "something" was, and she said that she couldn't release this information over the phone and that I should come in Today. This was very unusual, because I had never had this happen before and I had been getting a yearly checkup from the same doctor for over 15 years. At first I thought it could be high blood pressure, because that ran in my family. There was also a chance of cancer, because the women in my family had breast cancer and my grandfather passed away from prostate cancer the year before. I borrowed my mothers car, and headed over to the doctor's office. I didn't want to scare her, so I didn't mention what I was borrowing the car for.

I will never forget what happened next. As I arrived to my doctor's office, I was told to have a seat in the waiting room. There was soft music playing that turned out to be Barry Manilow's Daybreak, and it made my stomach turn! I hated that f***king song. I was in no mood to hear a happy go lucky song when I was being called into my doctor's office to discuss my lab results. Before the song could end, the doctor opened the door and escorted me to an exam room. It was cold, there was no window, and the light was very bright. Brighter than usual. I sat on the exam table, as he stood in front of me. He began to look over my charts and lab results. He grabbed my hand, which caught me off guard, and said.. "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but your HIV results came back positive." I swear I didn't even hear the word "positive", I just read his lips that seem to go in slow motion.... P O S I T I V E. I quickly shot back, I'm sorry but there must be some mistake! I am not sexually active. I've only had sex once! I haven't even performed oral sex, or had any sexual activity with anyone but one person. Are you serious? I was screaming at him while tears poured from my eyes as if he did something wrong. I fell to the floor, and he held me in his arms as if I was his son. He tried to console me... "With all the new advancements in HIV treatment this isn't a death sentence" he said. I could not stop crying. This has to be a mistake! I....I.....I.... couldn't even finish the sentence because I was so distraught. I cried, and cried. I kept trying to talk while I was crying, because I just couldn't believe what was happening. I choked on my tears. His white lab coat was soaked from my tears.  He tried to give me a little hope by saying that he would order additional tests. That false hope was short lived when all the results came back positive.

I thought about committing suicide when everything came back positive. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I could not focus. I couldn't do anything but cry. My doctor couldn't legally tell my mother that  I was HIV positive, but I was on her insurance so she would find out sooner or later when she saw the co-pays for the HIV meds he prescribed and the increased doctor visits. I tried to get in contact with Stephawn but his number was disconnected.

When I got back to school, I went over to the apartment complex where he lived but I couldn't remember the apartment number. I had no way of reaching this guy. I wanted to kill him, and i was going to. I had a butcher knife and I was going to stab him thru the heart, because I knew this guy had given me HIV, because I didn't have sex with anyone else. As time passed, I became so depressed that I started missing weeks of school. I would sit in my dorm room with the shades closed so it was dark and cry. I kept thinking what is the purpose of getting a degree when I'm going to die soon. I lost 15 pounds from not eating and started to look very frail. I stopped talking to everyone and became a recluse.

My "gay friends" would call daily to check up on me, but I refused to take their calls. Somehow I blamed them. I believed it was their fault that I ended up home with this guy. Why would they just leave me with a stranger? They knew I was drunk! I was looking for someone to blame to ease the pain. That didn't work though, and my life continued to go downhill.

I decided to drop out of school, because I didn't know how to deal with it all. I had no one to turn to. I couldn't tell my friends, and I couldn't tell my parents. All I could do was suffer in silence. Can you imagine telling your mother that you are HIV positive after a one night stand? I couldn't bare to see the pain in her eyes from knowing her son is going to die before her.

Today I read the article about Isaac Burks and saw his picture. This is the same guy who told me his name was Stephawn. This is the guy that gave me HIV! He ruined my life! I finally ended up telling my parents because I could not afford to pay the co-pays for the medication and doctor visits. My mother didn't cry, and told me that she loved me and would be there for me every step of the way. Later on that night as I got up to use the bathroom I heard her crying in her room. Tears immediately started pouring down my face and I ran to the kitchen. I grabbed the nearest knife, and slit my wrists. I wanted to die. I fell out and woke up in the hospital surrounded by my family. I have been in counseling, hiv support groups, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist every week. Accepting the fact that I am HIV positive has been very hard. I still have not been able to return to school, and I have tried to kill myself 3 times since then.

To the sick f***k Isaac Burks, also known as Stephawn who gave me HIV, I hope you rott in hell. Now that I finally know his real name, I will be contacting the authorities and telling them my story. Every day I hope that things will get better, and it doesn't. I ask "Why me?" every day. What did I do to deserve this? I have not been able to date or have any sexual relations with anyone since. I just know the minute I tell them my HIV status they will be out of the door. I feel that I am going to die alone. The last time I tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills I woke up to my mother crying and begging me to stop. But I cant. I have nothing to live for. I am alive, but I am not living.

I cried as I typed this post. I relived it, but felt I had to share my story. After finally coming out to my friends with my story I later found out that there were others that this man has infected with HIV. I also found out that he is wanted in several states for fraud, and identity theft. If you see this man, please call the authorities. If you've had unprotected sex with him and he didn't disclose his status... please get tested and report him immediately to your local police. If he has infected you, don't be scared to come forward. By doing so you could be saving the life of someone's son, daughter, cousin, brother, or sister. I beg you. This man has caused me and others so much pain, sometimes I feel I can't go on. No one deserves this! My life will never be the same.

Update 03/6/2013: The validity of the news article that compelled me to share my story has come into question. But make no mistake about it, my story is 100% real. If you read my story then you will already know that I was compelled to share my story AFTER seeing that article. My story has not changed. I made this clear from the very beginning. If it had not been for that article, I probably would have never shared my story, because I did not know his full name. I didn't even know his real name. I was initially told his name was Stephawn. No last name given. That article, along with several other articles indicating that he was wanted for Identity Theft and Fraud is how I was able to identify the man who gave me HIV.

That article, whether real or fake, has absolutely nothing to do with my story. I know the man pictured in that article is the man I met in Atlanta several years ago at Club Traxx, and the man who gave me HIV. I have no doubt in my mind, whether his name is Isaac, Stephawn, Charles, Billy, or whatever name this man is going by nowadays... the person pictured above is the person who gave me HIV. If that story is such a hoax, then why hasn't he come forth with HIV Test Results? Every major pharmacy in the United States sells an at-home HIV test that delivers results in 20 minutes and costs less than $50 dollars. If someone was lying on me, I would jump on camera and broadcast my test as I was taking it. Instead, he jumped on facebook along with his cronies to issue a denial. Not once did he say he was HIV negative. The fact remains that he is having unprotected sex with people and not telling them his status. Whether there are charges pending against him or not, this man is still walking around having unprotected sex and not disclosing his status.

Whatever you believe, if you decide to have sex with this man then please use a condom. That's what you should take from this story. Use a condom with everyone you have sex with, and make sure your partner does not pull it off during the middle of sex without your knowledge. The hurtful negative comments blaming me and calling me a slut are exactly why I didn't want to share my story. This incident happened years ago, and I have sat in silence..... too embarrassed to share my story. I didn't want to be judged, and there are others who feel the same way. When you share your story you make yourself vulnerable to critics and doubters. After reading that article I felt that I had to share my story. I hope that by sharing my experience I can save someone's life. To the people defending this guy when you know what he is doing, you will have to answer to god. How can you sleep at night? That could be your brother, sister, cousin, friend, or family member that he infects next! Sitting in silence and turning a blind eye while this man destroys lives leaves blood on your hands! May god have mercy on your soul.

Click Here - To View His Extensive Criminal History for Fraud, Forgery, Identity Theft, Financial Identity Theft, and Drugs. He's even been to prison before, and he currently has outstanding warrants in several states.